It is very common for a child to eat little and nap poorly during the first weeks at a new preschool. Eating and sleeping both require a child to feel safe and relaxed, so they are often the last parts of the day to settle, and appetite tends to recover first. As long as your child drinks enough, eats reasonably at home and has energy, a few weeks of small lunches and short naps at school is usually part of normal adjustment.
For international children, the challenge is often doubled: new food tastes and textures on top of a new setting, and a shared nap room unlike anything at home. This guide explains why appetite and sleep are affected, describes what preschool meals and naps in Ho Chi Minh City commonly involve, sets out what helps, and lists the signs that mean you should talk to a doctor rather than wait.
Why eating and sleep are the first to go
Stress affects appetite and sleep in adults and children alike. When a child is in an unfamiliar situation, their attention is on the people and the environment rather than on food. Some children feel too unsettled to eat in front of strangers; others are so absorbed in watching that they forget to eat. Sleep is even more sensitive, because falling asleep requires letting go of vigilance, which is hard for a child who is not yet sure where their parent is or who will be there when they wake.
Routine changes also play a part. A child who usually eats lunch at home with a parent, at their own pace, with familiar food, now eats with a group, at a set time, possibly with unfamiliar utensils. A child who naps in a dark bedroom alone now lies on a mat in a shared room with other children rustling and coughing.
Knowing this helps you avoid reading a poor appetite as dislike of the school or of the food. In most cases, as the child begins to feel at home, eating and sleep follow. The timescale varies, but improvement over a few weeks is the usual pattern.
There is also a social element. Young children are strongly influenced by what other children do at the table. A newcomer who sits beside a classmate who eats with enthusiasm often begins to copy, first by holding the spoon, then by tasting. This is one reason teachers sometimes seat a new child next to a calm, confident eater during the first weeks.
New food, new textures
Preschool meals in Ho Chi Minh City are generally based on Vietnamese home cooking, adapted for young children. A typical day might include rice porridge, rice with soft fish, pork or tofu, vegetable soups and fruit, though menus vary between schools and campuses. For many international children these foods are new, with different textures, flavours and smells from those at home.
Texture is often a bigger hurdle than taste. Rice porridge, broth-based soups and fish with small bones can feel very different to a child used to bread, pasta or cereal. Some children are wary of mixed dishes where foods touch each other. Others are curious and eat well from the start. Neither reaction tells you much about how they will eat in a month.
It helps to ask for the school's menu in advance and introduce some of those foods at home in a relaxed way, especially rice porridge and soft rice dishes. If you eat out in the city, let your child try local food alongside you. Familiarity built at home, without pressure, makes the same dish less surprising at school.
Mention any foods your child must avoid for allergy, medical or family reasons through the school's formal process, so that kitchen staff are informed as well as teachers. The details of how meals are planned and served are best checked with your campus directly.
What helps with eating
Tell teachers what your child eats. Describe familiar foods, preferred portion sizes and whether your child feeds themselves. Teachers can offer familiar items first, or serve sauces separately, if the kitchen allows.
Practise utensils at home. If the school uses spoons and bowls and your child usually eats with a fork from a plate, practise with a small bowl and spoon at home. Being able to manage the utensils independently removes one source of stress.
Give a good breakfast. A child who eats little at lunch may rely on breakfast and the evening meal. A filling breakfast before school helps, and so does a nourishing snack after pick-up.
Avoid pressure at home and school. The feeding specialist Ellyn Satter's well known division of responsibility model suggests that adults decide what, when and where food is offered, while children decide whether and how much they eat. Pressure to eat often makes children eat less. If you are worried, ask how the school encourages eating without forcing it.
Watch drinks, not just food. In Saigon's heat, fluid matters more than any single meal. Send a water bottle your child can use independently and ask teachers how often water is offered.
Nap time in a shared room
Most full-day preschools in Ho Chi Minh City include a long midday rest after lunch, often lasting around two hours, though exact times differ between schools and campuses. Children usually sleep on individual mats or small beds in the classroom or a dedicated room, with the lights dimmed and teachers supervising and settling children who need help.
For children used to sleeping alone in a dark room, this can be a big change. The noise of other children, the light, the temperature and the absence of a parent all make falling asleep harder. Some children lie awake for the whole rest period during the first weeks; others fall asleep only once exhausted, then wake upset.
Children who no longer nap at home pose a different challenge. Many preschools still expect a quiet rest even if children do not sleep. Ask how the school handles children who stay awake, and whether they can rest quietly with a book or toy. A child who is told to lie still for two hours without sleep can find this period one of the hardest parts of the day.
Waking is a moment to think about too. A child who falls asleep at school may wake disoriented, in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Some children cry hard on waking in the first weeks even after a good nap. Teachers who sit close by as children wake, and who greet them calmly by name, help this moment pass quickly.
What helps with napping
These adjustments, agreed with the teachers, often make a difference within a week or two:
- Tell teachers exactly how your child falls asleep at home: patting, a song, rocking, a particular position, a comfort object.
- Send a familiar blanket or sleep item, if allowed, ideally something that smells of home.
- Keep weekend nap times close to school nap times, so the rhythm is the same every day.
- Ensure your child has a good night's sleep; overtired children often find it harder to nap.
- Ask whether your child can have a mat in a quieter corner, away from doors or the busiest part of the room.
- Consider collecting your child before nap for the first week or two, then extending the day once mornings are settled.
- For older children who no longer nap, ask about quiet activities during the rest period.
Teachers often find that once a child accepts comfort from them, nap improves quickly. A child who lets a teacher sit beside them and pat their back is a child who is beginning to trust the room.
Talking with teachers about meals and nap
Conversations about food and sleep can become tense, because parents feel responsible for their child's health and teachers feel responsible for the whole group. It helps to start by asking rather than telling: what does lunch look like for my child at the moment, what do they reach for first, what do they push away, and how do they behave at rest time.
Teachers may describe things you would not have guessed. A child might eat well at morning snack but not at lunch because lunch comes when they are most tired. A child might refuse to lie down because the mat is next to the door and every movement wakes them. These details point to simple changes that are much more effective than general encouragement.
Be honest about your own expectations too. If you would prefer your child not to be spoon-fed, or would be happy for them to skip nap and rest quietly, say so, and ask what is possible within the school's routine. Agree on one or two changes, then check back after a week or two.
Track rather than worry
A simple record helps you judge whether things are improving. Ask teachers for brief notes, or use whatever daily information the school already provides.
| What to track | Usually fine in the first weeks | Worth discussing with a doctor |
|---|---|---|
| Food at school | Small amounts, trying a few items | Eating nothing at school or home for several days |
| Drinks | Drinks at school, though perhaps less than at home | Very little fluid, few wet nappies, dark urine |
| Nap at school | Short naps or lying awake quietly | Severe distress at every rest period for weeks |
| Sleep at home | Earlier tiredness, some night waking | Persistent night waking, nightmares, sleep refusal |
| Weight and energy | Stable weight, normal play at home | Weight loss, unusual lethargy, frequent illness |
Compare week by week rather than day by day. A slow upward trend in eating or sleeping is a good sign, even if individual days vary.
Keep the record light. A line or two per day in a phone note is enough. The point is to notice a trend, not to monitor every spoonful, and children quickly sense when meals have become a subject of anxiety.
Heat, hydration and when to see a doctor
Ho Chi Minh City is hot throughout the year, with high humidity in the rainy season. Young children dehydrate more quickly than adults, and a child who is distracted or anxious may forget to drink. Make sure your child knows how to ask for water in at least one classroom language, sends a bottle they can open themselves, and drinks well before and after school.
Contact your paediatrician if your child shows signs of dehydration, such as very few wet nappies, dark urine, a dry mouth or unusual drowsiness; if they refuse food and fluids at home as well as at school; if they lose weight; or if sleep problems continue well beyond the settling period. These are not judgements about the school but about your child's health, and a doctor can examine them and advise.
During the hottest months, offer extra water at breakfast and as soon as you collect your child, and dress them in light, breathable clothing for the journey. Air-conditioned classrooms can be cool, so a thin layer in the bag is useful as well.
For most children, though, poor appetite and short naps are temporary. Patience, a few practical adjustments and good communication with the teachers usually see them through.
Câu hỏi thường gặp
My child eats nothing at school but eats a lot at home. Is that a problem?
This is a common pattern in the first weeks. Many children compensate by eating more at breakfast and dinner. If your child's overall intake, energy and weight are fine, it usually resolves as they settle. Keep communication open with the teachers and mention it to your paediatrician if it continues for many weeks.
Can I send food from home for my child?
Policies vary. Some schools prefer all children to eat the same meal for hygiene, allergy and fairness reasons, while others allow exceptions for medical needs. Ask your campus. If home food is not allowed, introducing the school's dishes at home is often the best route.
My child no longer naps at home. Will they be made to sleep?
Many preschools expect a rest period even for children who do not sleep. Ask how they handle children who stay awake, whether quiet activities are possible, and whether the rest time is shorter for older children. If your child naps at school but then struggles at bedtime, discuss adjusting the length of the nap.
Should I wake my child earlier so they nap better at school?
Usually it is better to keep a regular morning routine and focus on a good bedtime. Making your child very tired can lead to distress rather than better sleep. Consistent wake-up and bedtimes support napping more reliably than strategic tiredness.
Is it normal for my child to come home exhausted?
Yes, especially in the first weeks. Settling in uses a lot of energy, and children often sleep earlier or more deeply. Keep evenings calm and bedtimes early. If exhaustion continues for months or comes with other symptoms, check with your doctor.
How long before eating and sleeping improve?
There is no fixed timeline, but many children show improvement within three to six weeks, with eating usually recovering before nap. If there is no progress after several weeks, or things are getting worse, talk to the teachers about adjustments and to your paediatrician if you are concerned about health.